Mr Kenneth is in Glasgow! Whilst the lowculture folks are in Istanbul for Eurovision live, Mr Kenneth has come to be with his favourite pals in Glasgow for the continent-binding cultural high(low)point that provides Wogan with a jolly to foreign parts and a good supply of Baileys. All hail Easyjet for saving Mr Kenneth from 5 hours on the train!
We won't all be wearing sequinned top hats, sporting the Union flag, but there is one amongst us and a pub has been reserved for the duration of the event. Mr Kenneth hopes that the evening may even end in riotous gay abandon in the Polo Lounge. Glasgow's really rather good - why the hell can't London have one? - night spot for those of a bumming persuasion.
There be broadband here and we've been watching the videos in preparation for the big night. Malta's pair of belters certainly do belt out a good'un along with Sweden's entry who looks like one of tomorrow night's Glasgow party - all flailing hair and kinky boots! There's a few top totty in the form of the French, Icelandic and do NOT miss the Corfiot wiggling away for the Greek entry! Thank you yes, I will if you're offering.
Mr Kenneth wishes Happy Eurovision to one and all
Friday, May 14, 2004
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Jump Suits
A quick note to mention something Mr Kenneth has noticed popping up around London. Some clever fellow has actually taken time out of their life to mass-produce some printed stickers, especially to adhere to the advertising of the Dove brand of skincare preparations. Sticker-form political statements against Esso and those considered world-destructing, evil corporate giants, Mr Kenneth is familiar with. But whether the mystery stickerer of old London town has some grudge against Lever who manufacturer Dove, Mr Kenneth knows not. Indeed Mr Kenneth cares not. The only reason for mentioning this self-adhesive activity is that Mr Kenneth is mildly amused by it.
The campaign Dove is running features some curvacious, voluptuous females of the sort less seen in such marketing activity. (You may have seen the television extension of this campaign) Empowering the woman on the street and asserting their attractiveness may be the sub-text, but Mr Sticky aint interested and the stickers noted so far have read as follows:
Dove: For fat birds
Dove: Who ate all the pies?
Dove: A healthier diet would be better
The amusement Mr Kenneth finds himself experiencing is less to do with poking fun at the porky and more to do with the surreality of an individual having such a strong reaction to an advertising campaign, that they feel compelled to make up a series of stickers to deface it with no obvious motivation, other than the amusement of themselves and the potential amusement of others.
The campaign Dove is running features some curvacious, voluptuous females of the sort less seen in such marketing activity. (You may have seen the television extension of this campaign) Empowering the woman on the street and asserting their attractiveness may be the sub-text, but Mr Sticky aint interested and the stickers noted so far have read as follows:
Dove: For fat birds
Dove: Who ate all the pies?
Dove: A healthier diet would be better
The amusement Mr Kenneth finds himself experiencing is less to do with poking fun at the porky and more to do with the surreality of an individual having such a strong reaction to an advertising campaign, that they feel compelled to make up a series of stickers to deface it with no obvious motivation, other than the amusement of themselves and the potential amusement of others.
Sunday, March 28, 2004
Grocer's window
Mr Kenneth is angry. (A common condition to one so easily vexed) He could put it down to the socialised intolerance, inherited from his mother - a wonderful woman with the middle class tendancy to dismiss out of hand anything she doesn't understand - but in this case the source of vexation is worthy of such intolerance and dismissal.
Having drained the Duracel somewhat taking his CD Walkman to the gym, (to have the beats of some old skool dancepop assist his motivation on the treadmill) on the tube, instead of blotting out the world, or at least the usually unattractive people around him with music, he decided to read his book. Into an interesting paragraph on the history of London's Park Lane, he became urgently aware of an insistant and sporadic snapping sound. 'Quite distracting', he thought and carried on reading. 'Snap', again and then, a sentence about the Dorchester Hotel later and once again, 'snap!'. At this he looked up to see, sitting diagonally opposite him, what can only be described as a creature of the female gender, chewing with attitude. Hair scraped back in the obligatory Croydon facelift, ears lined with Elizabeth Duke's finest and track suited up to the nines, she sat there drawing all the attention she could to her respect me attitude. To add insult to injury, she was fat too. Interestingly, Mr K never actually saw a bubble pop, for it was the sound of each popping that made him involuntarily - believe me no one would have voluntarily - look up and see the thing. She was just too much! Mr Kenneth hated her with all the venom he could muster. Quite irational and hideously intolerant, but as they say at L'Oreal, she was worth it!
One thing though, when Mr K did look up, there directly opposite him was quite a cute young gayboy looking right back at him. He was probably only looking in that way people permit themselves to do when a common irritation strikes on the tube, like an extended delay in the tunnel or a drunk person vomiting, to fleetingly bond over the experience, but you never know!
Oh! And another thing! That really iritating advert for - can't remember what it's for, so effective is it's brand-blindingly severe iritation - has just been on. The one where the woman is going on about doing more than one thing at once, with all the sub-text about how women are multi-taskers. What utter bollocks! Not only does Mr Kenneth hate such gender stereotyping, but doing more than one thing at once utterly sick and wrong. The whole thing is promoting that evil idea about high speed life and having everything yesterday, which just makes work and modern life rubbish. The most iritating thing of all is that the things she is doing; stirring a coffee while pouring her wine etc look just so clumsy and unnecessary that she looks like a complete dick.
Ooh, Mr Kenneth is seething now! And the gym's been done, so how can he purge? He'll go to bed and think of some way...
Having drained the Duracel somewhat taking his CD Walkman to the gym, (to have the beats of some old skool dancepop assist his motivation on the treadmill) on the tube, instead of blotting out the world, or at least the usually unattractive people around him with music, he decided to read his book. Into an interesting paragraph on the history of London's Park Lane, he became urgently aware of an insistant and sporadic snapping sound. 'Quite distracting', he thought and carried on reading. 'Snap', again and then, a sentence about the Dorchester Hotel later and once again, 'snap!'. At this he looked up to see, sitting diagonally opposite him, what can only be described as a creature of the female gender, chewing with attitude. Hair scraped back in the obligatory Croydon facelift, ears lined with Elizabeth Duke's finest and track suited up to the nines, she sat there drawing all the attention she could to her respect me attitude. To add insult to injury, she was fat too. Interestingly, Mr K never actually saw a bubble pop, for it was the sound of each popping that made him involuntarily - believe me no one would have voluntarily - look up and see the thing. She was just too much! Mr Kenneth hated her with all the venom he could muster. Quite irational and hideously intolerant, but as they say at L'Oreal, she was worth it!
One thing though, when Mr K did look up, there directly opposite him was quite a cute young gayboy looking right back at him. He was probably only looking in that way people permit themselves to do when a common irritation strikes on the tube, like an extended delay in the tunnel or a drunk person vomiting, to fleetingly bond over the experience, but you never know!
Oh! And another thing! That really iritating advert for - can't remember what it's for, so effective is it's brand-blindingly severe iritation - has just been on. The one where the woman is going on about doing more than one thing at once, with all the sub-text about how women are multi-taskers. What utter bollocks! Not only does Mr Kenneth hate such gender stereotyping, but doing more than one thing at once utterly sick and wrong. The whole thing is promoting that evil idea about high speed life and having everything yesterday, which just makes work and modern life rubbish. The most iritating thing of all is that the things she is doing; stirring a coffee while pouring her wine etc look just so clumsy and unnecessary that she looks like a complete dick.
Ooh, Mr Kenneth is seething now! And the gym's been done, so how can he purge? He'll go to bed and think of some way...
Saturday, March 20, 2004
Tinned Pears
Mr Kenneth turned 32 yesterday and it rained and blew a gail most of the day. Added to that Mr Kenneth was encarcerated in the tomb he calls work and simply could not concentrate to get anything done. At least there were after work drinks he thought, but he didn't bank on the Victoria line going tits up - as it has been doing far to much lately for one of the better lines on the network - and having to wait ages for a number 2, (the bus not the euphamistic defacatory emission) in order to get home to SW Towers.
Still, he got home in time for sex and the city. Was it the drinking, the final episode storyline or a combination of the two, but Mr Kenneth found himself quite emotional - It's rare for a TV programme to penetrate the iron cladding around his emotionally repressed core. Even though we all knew Miranda would live happily ever after with Steve, Charlotte would get her baby, Samantha would conquer the Big C and most inevitable of all, Carrie would get back together with Big [John - who'd have guessed!], it was quite touching in the end. So glad she found her Carrie necklace, Mr Kenneth can't bear losing things or people who so carelesly do! There seemed to be something in the music score that suggested something awful/unexpected might happen, which kept one watching and engaged one in the eventual inevitability of it all. Well done HBO. More shows like that please!
Wine tasting this afternoon and more drinking to follow hopes Mr Kenneth. If there's a possibility of engaging a young gentleman in intercourse of any variety later, then Mr Kenneth may feel that birthday +1 might be turning out slightly better than the day itself.
Still, he got home in time for sex and the city. Was it the drinking, the final episode storyline or a combination of the two, but Mr Kenneth found himself quite emotional - It's rare for a TV programme to penetrate the iron cladding around his emotionally repressed core. Even though we all knew Miranda would live happily ever after with Steve, Charlotte would get her baby, Samantha would conquer the Big C and most inevitable of all, Carrie would get back together with Big [John - who'd have guessed!], it was quite touching in the end. So glad she found her Carrie necklace, Mr Kenneth can't bear losing things or people who so carelesly do! There seemed to be something in the music score that suggested something awful/unexpected might happen, which kept one watching and engaged one in the eventual inevitability of it all. Well done HBO. More shows like that please!
Wine tasting this afternoon and more drinking to follow hopes Mr Kenneth. If there's a possibility of engaging a young gentleman in intercourse of any variety later, then Mr Kenneth may feel that birthday +1 might be turning out slightly better than the day itself.
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Teapot
Look who's tidy!
Today Mr Kenneth got organised! The Kenneth Suite is tidier than it has been for some days, (washing put away, more washing done, mantlepiece cleared of clutter, bed changed etc) and Mr Kenneth now has a local GP again. Shame he didn't remember to cancel the TV license payments, but you can't have everything now can you?
Look who's back!
Pippa returned to Summer Bay today! Mr Kenneth just happened to be at home this afternoon owing to the aforementioned Doctor's appointment and some working from home activity. That combined with a housemate's prediliction for 'five' resulted in a trash tv treat. Mr K was alerted to the matronly one's return via lowculture and had forgotten all about it until in she walked, with Chris the baby all grown up! The Aussie soaps never let a storyline take on a realistic chronology for fear of losing track of where they are. Arm pain one day means heart attack death by the end of the following episode usually. If you add H&A's new five-style of 'before you know it' editing, those with attention deficit disorder are assisted even more. So within minutes of being re-introduced to the character, we are introduced to the fact that our Pip thinks her boy's a bum-bandit! Not only that, but he's a geek-gay, with all the worldliness of pingu after 6 years in solitary. (Why? that's not very sexy!)
Five minutes later and he's already fantasising about his room mates! Pippa wasn't the only returnee, but Sophie - Rebekekka Emalogologoloubiallidocious - with two children (by the end of the episode anyway) and the lanky straight-A student Steven. It's funny, after years of both Neighbs and Homes forgetting exited characters as if they never existed, both seem to be introducing if not our old favourites, then at least their relatives. Ceri's daughter Sky is back all grown up in Neibs and aparently Des & Daphne's Jamie is due to make an appearance soon. If they think that will make up for years of biennial Charlene and Scott references, then they've got another think coming!
Look who's a-cussin'!
Elsewhere in TV gem-land, the fab trails for Channel 4 get even better, with all your favourite C4 faces getting foul-mouthed here and not a Steve Penk in sight! Phew!
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Oh my good gollywog!
Well here it is! The first post from Mr Kenneth; the disembodied voice of Manchesterford. Whether this will be the first in a series remains to be seen and depends largely on whether Blogger is as 'easy' as it says it is.
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