With a bra-slip and a jersey two piece...

Terrible news! Mr Kenneth can't get it out of his head! He's spinning around! Poor little smiley Kylie.

Still, it seems to have been caught early and recovery rates from this form of the disease are good, so it shouldn't be long before she's back out there in her ostrich feathers, belting them out with a voice that belies her size. She's a bit like a bumble bee in that respect. Physically speaking, she shouldn't be able to sing like that, but by some miracle, out comes the locomotion like a locomotive!

Mr Kenneth doesn't consider himself an out and out pop junkie, music-wise. No, his Zen Touch (buy one, they're better than iPods) is full of all manner of eclecticism. (Blur to Burt Kaempfurt, Doves to David Holmes) However if something has that indefinable fab-pop quality it gets past the internal review board and makes it into the Kenneth collection. Our Kyles is Primary Colonel In Chief of the Pop Regiment at present. Long may she reign! Colour Sergeant Gwen Stefani assisted by the 411 platoon might step in and help out while she's on sick leave.

There'll be tears on Mr K's pillow though.